Episode 118: Walking the Talk: Avoiding Hypocrisy in Life and Business
In this episode of The Pursuit of Badasserie, we’re getting real about something that hits close to home—walking the talk. Let’s be honest, it’s easy to tell others what they should be doing, but are we holding ourselves to the same standard? We dig into those moments where we might be unintentionally hypocritical in our personal lives and businesses, and we challenge ourselves (and you) to take a good, hard look at how our actions align with our words.
We also reflect on how we’ve fallen out of certain habits—like listening to podcasts ourselves—and how it’s essential to practice what we preach. Whether it’s about leadership, personal growth, or simply living with integrity, we share stories, laughs, and actionable steps to help us all show up better every day.
Plus, we throw in a little digression about our love of books (because, why not?) and the goals we’re setting to push ourselves further this year. You’ll hear our thoughts on staying accountable, staying inspired, and why action always speaks louder than words.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- How to identify areas where your actions and words don’t align
- Why practicing what you preach builds trust and credibility
- The importance of self-reflection and accountability in business and life
- A few of our favorite tangents—books, goals, and finding inspiration
If this episode made you think, laugh, or cringe (in a good way), share it with someone who needs a little nudge! And hey, if you’ve got ideas for topics you’d like us to dive into—or if you just want to call someone out by playing this in the same room as them—let us know. We’re always open to feedback, ideas, and some good old-fashioned banter.
Until next time, get after it!
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Read the full transcript of this episode below:
Lynn Howard
Hey, I’m Lynn.
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
And I’m Amanda. Welcome to the Pursuit About Assery, the podcast. Tell you right now, we might get saucy in this one because we are calling ourselves out and all of you can’t forget you as well.
And let’s get crack-a-lackin.
Lynn Howard
Yeah, the old saying, do as I say, not as I do. I mean, I up on that saying, let’s be honest.
dad was very much, well, many saints. He had many saints, but the do as I say, not as I do, I feel like was an unspoken in a lot of ways.
And, you know, it’s interesting because we see it so prevalent now. And even Amanda and I were just talking about how sometimes we fall into this cycle of do as I
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
not as I do? 100%. I don’t think it happens after every client call, but there are a lot of times that I’m on a client call and my clients talk about how they don’t have enough client acquisition or they’re struggling with getting a lead magnet or they need to update their website and then I’m telling them all these things to do and they’re the correct things to do.
I’m not going to even pretend that they’re not the right things. This is how you do set up a lead magnet and here’s how you set up automation and I’ll go through this whole thing, a tutorial, actually send a video tutorial on how to set these things up and then I think, oh, you should probably do that too, Amanda.
You should probably also be working on a new lead magnet because all the ones you have are kind of old.
You should have a new one of those. You should probably also be updating your website. You should start another automation, all the things and for action that you should be doing to build website.
business, etc. Like for business growth. And when I went through them and did the things that we told people do, I made money.
was like, look at this, the things that we say are the right things. And I think I’ve fallen back into the pattern where I’m like doing what is working instead of doing what’s going to build me and grow me.
I call ourselves out on this one. I definitely fall into that category.
Lynn Howard
Yeah, you know, it’s interesting because I think that, I mean, there’s always life is full of color. It’s not black or white, right?
And so there’s this spectrum, if you would, of the do as I say, not as I do movement or fiber.
I think it’s been whatever. I definitely feel like it’s more of a movement with this that’s all over social media.
But that’s a whole other story. can get into that later. really, truly, like, especially with like leaders and coaches and consultants, you know, sometimes you don’t
you as the one telling someone what to do, you don’t need to be doing it, but a lot of times we do.
And again, I feel like it’s a spectrum of like, I remember the joke, you know, when I own the security company is like, you know, as a security company owner, we’re the last one to have a security system in our house.
As a contractor, the house is always needed to be fixed up. we are putting everybody else first before ourselves.
And I want to honor that, because there is some aspect of that, where we’re really just depositing, some of us are depositing so much into our clients that we’re not necessarily taking the time ourselves to do it ourselves.
Now that doesn’t make it right. However, there is a different reason behind it for those who actually know what to be doing and understand it and maybe have done it in the past, versus those who are just talking out of their .
And not really like maybe they chapped GPT’d it. And you know, this is the next phase and fit, whatever, and they’re able to, like, cross of like, this is what you need to do, but they’ve never done anything.
They’ve never walked the walk, talked the talk. They’re not practicing what they preach. And so, it’s an interesting kind of dynamic, but the fact of the matter is exactly what you said.
We talked a lot about this, I wrote a whole chapter on it, practice how you play, how you practice.
Like, that’s, I did write a chapter on that, didn’t it? You did.
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
It feels a lot. And we believe in that.
Lynn Howard
However, where are you telling others but not doing yourself, where are you preaching to others when you should be practicing it yourself?
Where are you being a hypocrite? Like, and I think that that’s what will sound to you. And for some of you, this may matter.
For some of you, it may not matter. man, when you are telling people to work smarter, not harder, but you’re not working smarter or you’re telling people, invest in yourself.
But when was the last time you actually invested in something for yourself that is the same kind of genre, like education or getting your business forward.
I look at all of these individuals who are like, know, my product, buy my service, and yet, well, they’re not doing a lot of things, but they they don’t invest in others.
They don’t spend money and money is a whole other we could go on a whole other podcast around the the energetic currency of money and like investing and all that stuff.
But it’s just it’s kind of wild.
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
This topic just really kind of, you know, I, you know, I love her here because one of the ones that I say all the time, like I, and just our conversation here has made me
realize how often I’ll tell clients that it’s really okay to set boundaries or set stronger boundaries or take a break or, you know, let that go.
And then I’m the one who’s like, I don’t want to take a break, breaks are stupid. I want to keep working forever.
then, you know, taking, saying I’ll never take a client at two in the morning and then getting on a client call just because it happens to be a time zone thing and wanting to bend over backwards, even though I’ll tell my clients to set those boundaries and set those expectations.
And I 100% realize, and it like really hit me just now that I don’t, I mean, it’s not every client, it’s not every situation that I’ll do that.
But there are definitely times that I’ll tell my clients not to break their projects for any reason. And then I go around and I do the exact same thing.
like, yeah, I’ll meet you at 2am. No problem. Yeah. And again, it’s not like I do that all the time.
But there’s always those occasions that I will and you know, I think that’s a good point.
Lynn Howard
It’s like, you not one or the other kind of like growth and fix mindset or scarcity and abundance typically your range and you have your primary but this podcast for me is more about like looking at where you’re not stepping up the plate like having that integrity with yourself to say okay I’m telling other people to do this or I’m preaching about this to the world even if it’s not in my profession but are you really actually gee first of all do you believe that right do you actually believe it and second of all are you doing it yourself too and again it’s not absolute like we’re gonna fall in and out and you know there might be times where we fall into the I’m gonna take this client at 2 a.m even though I’m telling other people to have boundaries just because of our own situation or circumstances that we’re going through but it’s it’s to do a reality check and say okay where am I being hypocrite and hypocrite?
isn’t name calling. It’s it’s like it’s a state of being right. Yeah. And where do I need to step up and play?
Now you might not be able to do it all, but you can absolutely say, you know, you can absolutely start working on it.
You can have the conscious effort of making movement in the right direction. And it because, for example, for us being consultants, like we know it works.
We’ve done as we might not be doing it right now. So it’s not that we’re going to back off from guiding our clients to do things that maybe we’re not doing behind the scenes.
Because we know what works, then we can absolutely say, you know what, I understand that this is if I can have more empathy when they’re falling behind on something or not doing something and not when they’re making excuses or victims, those are not my people.
But those that are absolutely like falling behind I understand like I’ve done it. too. Like I’ve fallen behind and I had to like check myself and say, okay, where do I need to step up more?
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
Where do I need to move the marker? Absolutely. And you know, it’s never a fun conversation. I feel like I say that a lot.
It’s not fun, but it’s necessary. And you know, when you actually sit down and do, I guess, the math as it were, there are a lot of ways that you can be sabotaging yourself or using because you’re in the advice out, you’re like, this is, this is the advice that you’re not even that you’re not taking your own advice, it certainly.
And you I see that a lot in relationships, couples talking to other couples about what’s working and what’s not working in the communication efforts.
And I see a lot of this, you should be doing this with your partner, you should be doing that with your partner.
And then they’re turning around and having the same issue in their marriage, almost like throwing stones. it’s It’s interesting how it all kind of trickles out in your life, but there’s times where it makes sense to be on that higher ground and to spout the knowledge, even though internally you’re floundering and faking it till you make it.
But if you sit there forever and you just continually sit in this place where you’re hitting yourself, but you’re telling everybody what to do because you’re coming from this place like I know best, but then you’re not following through with any of that and you’re coming into this pattern of I’m always, you know, do what I say, not what I do.
It’s going to bite you in the butt in more ways than one. And I certainly bites me in the butt from a parenting standpoint.
More often than I’d like to admit, oof, rough, but.
Lynn Howard
Well, I don’t even want to get into the parenting side of the do, as I say, not as I do because that’s a whole other can of worms.
But I mean, it definitely affects you. This whole saying can affect you in all. aspects. And again, really, I think the point of this particular podcast is, is to just, you know, look behind the curtains, where are you being a hypocrite?
Where are you standing on a pedestal versus like down in the trenches? Instead of, you know, the do as I say, it should be more like follow me as I do, or like walk the walk, talk the talk kind of aspect.
And again, sometimes we can’t turn around everything. And it doesn’t mean that our points or our guidance isn’t valid or important or factual.
But at the end of the day, like, we all live in some kind of hypocrite state in some aspects of our life.
that’s where the do as I say, not as I do kind of aspect comes from. And It’s time to call yourself out.
It’s time to look. It’s time to, because it absolutely has a cause and effect. It absolutely has a ripple effect in your business, in your relationships, in your state of being, in your mindset, in the flow of things.
If you have disconnect, you absolutely are creating a ripple effect from that disconnect. And so this is one place to start is look at where are you being a hypocrite and how do you need to change that?
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
Yeah, I think it definitely starts with acknowledging that gap, like recognizing the disconnect between your advice and your actions, because that self-awareness is going to trickle down into being aware of everything that you’re doing.
It’s, it’s, you know, it’s like I said, it’s telling people that they need to take breaks ever so often and going on vacation and then you never do this.
for yourself. So, practicing what you preach, playing how you mean to play or practicing how you play. You know, even if you can just start small in that respect, thinking about actionable things that you can do, it doesn’t have to be that suddenly, if you find that you are in this place where you’re constantly telling people to do things but not living up to that, then start with something small, advocating that tiny little bit that you need to advocate and starting small, maybe it’s involving a coach or consultant or mentor that can hold you accountable and help you understand what is you’re doing and maybe the root of it because there might be a reason why you’re falling into that pattern and I’m thinking and I know we said we weren’t going to bring up whole parenting thing but you brought a very beginning about like how that was like saying that your father had like do say say not as I do and I think a lot of people grew up with that and maybe it’s time you kind of analyze why is that your default response.
And why can’t you, once you, once you default into that, why can’t you recognize that and then flip a switch and make it make a change?
said an example for yourself, reassess and simplify the advice that you’re giving and see if you can implement and create a new habit that will negate that whole feeling and that whole sentiment.
Lynn Howard
Yeah, I think it’s like a mindset shift and actually it reminds me of how to network and not working function act as a host and as a guest.
I think it’s the same thing of like, are you being an example or are you being a preacher? And, you know, making that simple switch.
And again, I love that you get practical steps. I mean, one of mine too is like admitting it and being like, you know what?
Like, I actually need to work on this. And I can remember times where I’ve actually said that to my clients like, I’m advising you, but this is something like I need my team to do for me.
Like, I have to update this or I have to do this. I know it needs to My efforts and energy have went other places and I’ve gotten off track now.
That’s an excuse it’s a recognition of I prioritize my time differently. Now it could be an excuse if I allowed it to be but I think that that’s another thing like you know I love the saying knock yourself off the pedestal in the appropriate areas where you need to sometimes you shouldn’t in front of those people whoever those people are but I think it’s like emitting it and then sometimes knocking ourselves off and really like asking yourself how am I how am I leaning by example and not as like a preacher or a dictator.
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
Yeah being transparent and be the change you want to see if you want to see your email at your sales funnel get better and you want your clients sales funnels to be better then like make yours better if you want to have a better teach about better leave back
I guess then have a better lead magnet if you want to You know be more well spoken and educated Read a book like there’s things that you can do or listen to a podcast or listen to a book Actually, there’s a new study that came out that was talking about the brainwaves that are connected when you’re listening to a book And so now they’re starting to think that all the people who poo poo audio books are now getting schooled on the science behind audio books But I know you I know you love the audiobooks I I like the audio, but I just can’t do it.
I can get I need to do this with my hands I’m afraid i’m gonna get like jumped in the street.
Lynn Howard
I guess like my old school. can’t I got it Well, are other reasons why audio is best for me from a Other perspective like the word stands around on the page probably undiagnosed dyslexia type of thing But also there’s many other but ha That’s it Bye
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
We had many discussions as we were publishing our books around that because she is definitely Anyway, this is digressing, but I love that it is, but you know, I’ll talk about books all day long Anyway, the point is Well, you know, it’s the best anyway, I digress if you want to have a podcast about my love affair with books, please I’m trying to beat my record of books this year.
going to read over 110.
Lynn Howard
It’s my goal this year But that you know what you bring up something and this is something that I was telling Amanda before we even got on here Like we have this goal about our podcast and about getting subscribers and Guys, I don’t listen to podcasts like I used to all the time But for whatever reason I got out of listening to it and I was like, you know, that’s an loop Like how do I expect others to listen to my podcast if I’m not listening to other people so actually I was doing research of
Some new podcasts I want to listen to, so if you have any suggestions, besides pursuit of bad assery, but I do listen on that one because we recorded, but um, send it my way.
So, you know, yeah.
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
But that’s true. No, I agree because I also have that thing. I haven’t listened to podcasts in a long long time.
Probably, probably because I had kids. I’m gonna blame my kid on it. And all the podcasts became like parenting podcasts and I couldn’t take it anymore.
So now, uh, the point of that is if you are going to tell people they have to be doing something, if you’re going to walk the walk, you better and talk the talk.
You got to do both. You can’t just, you can do what you do, not as you say. I’d rather see the action than just the talking.
Lynn Howard
Absolutely. Alright, so hopefully this podcast may be hit a nerve to get you to take a look at where you’re going be in a hypocrite in your own life and in your own business.
Um, and share this with individuals in your life that maybe need a little bit of a nudge. Hit that subscribe button.
Let us know what you took away from this podcast. Yeah.
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
Always interested in what you have to say. And if you have any other ideas that you want to hear about, be called out about or call someone out about and you just play that podcast in the same room as them, feel free to reach out to us.
We are always open for your feedback and for your ideas.
Lynn Howard
Absolutely.
The Pursuit of Badasserie (Amanda Furgiuele)
Till next time, get after it.