Episode 124: Boss Mode: Owning Your Energy, Boundaries, and Badasserie

What does it really mean to embody Boss Mode? Is it something you’re already living, something you’re striving for, or something you haven’t even considered yet? In this episode, we’re diving deep into the energy behind being a true badass in business and life.

We’re breaking down the power of self-awareness, setting boundaries that actually serve you, and blocking out the noise of external validation (because, let’s be real, it’s easy to get caught up in it). Your mindset, your choices, and the people you surround yourself with can either fuel your success or hold you back—so how do you make sure you’re in the driver’s seat?

We’re also throwing a poll into this episode because we want to hear from you. What does being a boss mean to you? What words resonate? Are you already embodying that badass boss energy, or is it a work in progress? Let us know, share this episode with someone who needs a little reminder that they are killing it, and keep showing up as the powerhouse you are.

And of course, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode of The Pursuit of Badasserie.

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Read the full transcript of this episode below:

 

Lynn Howard

Hey, I’m Lynn.

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

And I’m Amanda. Welcome to the Pursuit of Badasserie in the podcast. Strap in folks. You have kids in the car. Now’s a good time to turn down the volume because we’re going to talk about what it is to be a badass boss and what that means.

Lynn Howard

Yes, yes. And this was a special request from one of our listeners slash followers. And of course, we’re going to talk about how to be a boss or a boss badass.

However you want to phrase it. But essentially, what this is is owning who you are, owning your . And it’s something that I think is natural for Amanda and I in a lot of ways.

And we’ll talk about some of the things that we do. also, it’s a practice because if you start not owning your stuff because of circumstances or situations or.

a person place or thing, you can definitely go into a different realm which I feel like is more like victim and scarcity and life is happening to me versus for me.

And that’s kind of like what I thought of when I heard her request.

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

Well, when I heard the request, it kind of made me chuckle aloud really because I think that for so long, I thought that side of myself because it wasn’t, it was too much, it was too loud, it was too aggressive, it was too masculine to have confidence to be sure in your decision making, to be resilient, to be adaptable, to be authoritative.

And I was told for so long that that was, you know, character flaw that I had. And then there came this, I don’t know it’s a surgeon’s or a resurgence.

or insurgents of that feminine energy being a good thing. the powerful side of feminine energy, which is a lot of times, I think a lot of times that power has been given a masculine connotation.

I think that women coming into their power is one of the most wonderful things to see. It’s one of my favorite things to see.

It’s one of the things that I loved most about when I owning a pole dancing studio for as long as I have to see women come into their power and step into that confidence and step into that other side of themselves that was always there.

But then I just never let it out.

Lynn Howard

Yeah, it’s kind of wild that you brought up the feminine versus masculine side, because I definitely hear you. And I would actually say like, you know, if you have more masculine tendencies, I’m not, there’s definitely a whole,

a whole process of learning to lean into your feminine side. And, but I think like, it’s about owning who you are, because we’re not all of one, right?

We’re not all of one versus the other. And yeah, I find that fascinating that you brought that up. And it’s interesting because a lot of times people, you know, people look at us and they’re like, like, you, you haven’t had it hard.

Like, this has just been natural for you. Like, you didn’t have bloopers or whatnot. And like, I said before, like, I feel like that comes natural for us.

We have that aura about us. We have that like determination rooted from different places more or less, but definitely that forced to be recognized, reckoned with with the both of us.

But we’ve had a lot of people telling us you’re too much this too much that our whole lives. I think that, you know, when you’re owning your

It is learning to take responsibility for what’s yours but not take responsibility for others or others’ opinions. It’s really the moment where you say, and responsibility in a couple of ways, it’s responsibility in that moment where you say, okay, that’s your , this is my , like I hear you, you don’t even have to say I hear you, but like in your own mind, like understanding like other people’s opinions and guidance and all of that is just theirs.

You can take it or what it’s worth if you want or take it and leave it, it’s up to you.

The other thing though is the responsibility of self, right? So not just like that separation of like, okay, taking responsibility for your stuff but not taking responsibility for others, but stop blinging, like look from within, stop using other people.

people as a reason why you’re not stepping into it. this could be from a very negative point, and this could be from a very positive point, like you get into these habits and routines and patterns with individuals where we want to be the perfect wife, be the perfect mom, be the perfect this, the that, the this, and we’re not really stepping into the full of who we are and we’re blaming you politics or and blame comes in all different forms and sizes.

It’s not you’re wrong, I’m right type of thing, or it’s because of you. It could be you just like saying, oh well, I couldn’t get to that because I had to do XYZ or or you know, it’s because I have all this on my one of our favorite words, the busy word, right?

But you, when you’re not taking an act, I actually heard the phrase radical responsibility in one of our conferences this week.

And I think that that is like that radical, taking radical responsibility of yourself, of your own , of your past, present, and your future.

This allows you to be able to get in the driver’s seat, which we spoke around a lot, get in the driver’s seat of your, of you being a boss .

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

Absolutely. It always blows me away when, and I know you and I both encounter this in various circumstances. But when I see these incredible, incredible women who doubt who they are, who doubt what they’re doing, who doubt their impact without their ability to stand up or to say something, and it, at this point, it almost makes me have a visceral reaction, because I can’t stand that that’s.

the way people see themselves and that they feel like they have to play smaller in order to get further on and whatever they’re doing, that they have to downgrade or downplay who they are because of whatever circumstance, because they don’t want somebody else to look better, or they are afraid of looking like more than what they’ve, whoa, this guy crazy, we’re from headphones there.

They’re afraid of looking of, they’re afraid of it seeming that they’re trying to be more than somebody else or they don’t, they just don’t want to stand out in that way and I actually resisted it for a very long time because I didn’t really want to be known, like I don’t really want to be famous or popular and I never really cared about those things and when I want to have a global reach, when there are things that I want to accomplish, I had to like decide that that was something I needed to do and I needed to step in more into that as well because I was downplaying a lot of things and small because I was around people who were smaller, I mean, I know it sounds terrible to say like I was around

small people. But I was playing in a very, very tiny pool around people who didn’t have the same aspirations and who constantly put me down and those ideas down because it just who buy to do those things.

And once I stepped out of that and got away from that and started really honing in on who I wanted to be, then that came out.

I think that’s what’s really important if you can empower yourself and get in the right rooms and get in the right spaces where you’re around other empowering women who actually want to see you grow and actually want to see you do other things and greater things and the things that the goals that you want.

That’s when you can really step into yourself because it’s so easy to be complacent and to just sit back and you know, we talked about this in a previous episode about going with the flow.

And I think that’s kind of that flow is the enemy of stepping into your boss.

Lynn Howard

Absolutely. There’s there are a few points I want to make on that. And especially because it’s, you know, it’s international women’s day.

Um, this month and we’ve been doing a lot of women’s events, women’s leadership in a primary conference, which I am seeing you spoke at another leading women’s summit, which you attended and I was one of the speakers and a few other activities that we’ve done this week, um, including our own retreat and listening to these women struggling with exactly everything that you just said.

And there were also, it was also a reminder being around all these women because they stand out just because I feel like I’m I’m pretty self-aware.

don’t know if you notice this, I know your self-aware as well, but like watching the dynamic of how some women need to step on others, not in a not in a good way either, to really, um, themselves seem like a boss .

So that’s more like they’re putting others down to be able to step in into it. It was really interesting.

We actually had dialogue around that with one of our conferences as well, the conference that you spoke at. And it’s just interesting that that still happens.

And I know that we’re evolving, but being a boss doesn’t mean that you’re on other people in order to put yourself on a pedestal, in my opinion.

Two other things that came out of what you were saying is I think that boundaries are super important. When you’re surrounded by all these individuals, if you are not putting around boundaries, which I think boundaries is definitely a spiritual practice, but boundaries are essential in being a boss .

And we’ve said this a cajillion times that know is a complete sentence and learning that. I feel like this is a way self, you’re.

virtual self, your physical self, you’re able to really be who you’re able to be, because you’re not allowing others to guide and manipulate and drive you essentially.

And said, again, I’m going to keep going back to this, you were in the driver’s seat. And you were talking about the big fish thing.

If you don’t have boundaries, a lot of times what happens, it’s like the crab in the bucket with the people.

And it’s not that these other crabs don’t love you or want you to succeed, they might just, a lot of times people only know what they know, right?

It’s not a lot of times people only know what they know. And most people, especially our loved ones, they are responding to us out of fear or out of their unknown, right, they are trying to like hold us back or whatnot.

And when we stay in the same arena all the time, and not have boundaries, then we end up becoming just another sheep, and not the wolf, right?

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

And I think that that’s really important. Absolutely. think people are so afraid and they project that fear when you might not even feel that there are plenty of times where I have been in situations, and I know you have to, Lynn, situations where people are assuming things about you or putting labels on you that really aren’t there or projecting their fears to make you feel small or even unintentionally.

It’s not always that this intentional trying to bring you down, but it’s it blows me away. I noticed it a lot, and it’s not just happening to myself, but to other people, I’ll be sort of flying along to conversation and just we don’t always see it.

And we it’s so nice to be surrounded by people, strong women who can speak up for each other because sometimes it is so ingrained in you that you don’t even realize it’s that you’re doing it or that it’s happening to you and I’m thinking of a couple of recent Instagram conversations that I was having and it was just unbelievable the amount of hate coming down for like people just live in their lives and do the thing and then the fear that’s projected onto it can get in the way but you know there’s one thing I really want to talk about because I know it isn’t a lot of people’s minds it was always in my mind with the term boss boss if you want to call it that way and I know there was a it was a Parks and Recreation I think it was Parks and Rec if you any of you follow that show they had a whole concert a whole show on the whole concept of boss and how not everybody watched if you haven’t watched it was one of my favorites that I have I love it there’s at least two characters on there that are

making to my soul. However, the concept of boss , boss, and the idea that it can be used positively or negatively, and that there’s a lot of negative associations with being called a anyway, and that boss scenario of people think of it, oh, you’re harsh, you’re cruel, you step on anybody to get your way, that you don’t care whose feelings you hurt to get there, that you’re superficial and that you’re money hungry and just like crazy, ambitious, and don’t really care about anything else, and that’s kind of this box that’s been put into on the negative side, and I’m not saying I’ve never been any of those things because there’s certainly, I’m absolutely, I’m ambitious, I’m absolutely money driven, I’m absolutely attacked, I don’t have a lot of attacks sometimes, so I absolutely have fallen into that, but that’s not everything that you are when you fall into that title, and that’s not everything that I don’t think.

I don’t think negatively of the term, boss , but so many people have in the past. mean, I went from an all women’s university and that term was really offensive to a lot of people that I went to school with because they, and that was just sort of just coming out because it was a while ago, but that term was really offensive to a lot of people and it never bothered me, but it does bother a lot of people because of the connotations and like the negatives, stigmas behind just the word in and of itself.

Lynn Howard

I think that goes back to our episode around hustle though. You know, there’s certain people, but I will say that I feel like you’re going to have that more in the US than you do in other regions of the world except for the nuance of the mannerism, the manners, not mannerism, the manners of cursing versus not.

And you don’t have to use that term, but really it’s about owning who you are, owning your purpose, owning your steps, and where you’re going.

being and really being protective of your space. And I definitely would love to own ads because I think BossBitch is a leader as well leader to themselves but to others and that is also helping others or at least encouraging or inspiring others to do the same.

So I love that you brought that up and no Parks and Rec was never something that I got into just like I can’t remember it.

I can see the office or something.

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

just not my kind of humor. I also enjoyed that as well but there was just one episode in particular that they brought up that entire topic and I just I love it.

Flash before my eyes. Hey I’m not judging but I’m sure we have different shows. Okay see we are different we watch different shows.

Lynn Howard

are we watch different shows. You know because it’s been ringing in my head. but I need to say it before I forget it is like we are the creators of our reality and so when um I when we are not acting like a queen but yet we’re talking and um saying that we’re a boss or queen or whatnot but you’re acting like a damsel in stress and waiting for boss a boss sees the situation and picks up what she needs to pick up and like moves forward fears out how to and sometimes even taking that step before they’re even ready before they even know that something’s going to um you know what they’re going to land on but it is not a damsel in distress and or princess who needs to be pampered and everything and I know this is a sight this is maybe a little new one

But to me, a boss , somebody owning their is the one who is taking that radical responsibility and not waiting for a rescuer, either in life or in business, not playing the damsel, not acting like a princess, not making those excuses.

you know, definitely on the woo-woo side, like the more we embody things, where energy goes, energy flows. So the more we embody something, owning that power, even if we have to fake it till we make it at times, we’re not saying do it your whole life.

But, you know, there might be something else going on if you have to fake it till you make it all the time.

But to really just like own that power and don’t just talk it, don’t just act like you are, but to really own it.

And that means you are not playing a damsel in distress, you’re not being a princess. you are being the queen and you know owning your .

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

Absolutely. I think owning that power and that confidence and being able to also instill that in others and encourage and empower your team and people around you taking ownership for what you’re doing is so important and I think it also comes down to obviously we always talk about adaptability resilience etc but it’s also that that’s what a boss wants to do is you want to lead people if you want to talk about queen you’re leading people you’re leading people towards that enlightenment or that confidence or that self-empowerment that we all really need I think that’s why people really look up to the concept of this boss because it is something you want to aspire to be I mean maybe not everybody wants to be that but that’s okay I think that’s a great point though Amanda because not everybody wants to be a boss.

Lynn Howard

So this is for those that want to and are willing to put in the work to do it because it’s okay if you want to stay a damsel, then recognize it.

Own that, right? It’s okay. We’re not pooping that.

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

Yeah, just be you and be what you want to be rather than what you think you’re supposed to be.

Lynn Howard

Be you, boo. You know, you brought up something, you spoke about vision, they’re for just a hot minute. And I think that that’s also a key part of being a boss is that you you own your vision.

Even if you don’t know exactly what it is, but you come outside of the context, like the the area in which you’re in, you think bigger, you want differently.

And I think that there’s also and actually this will be one of our podcasts I wrote it down earlier is like that inner purpose, that inner understanding, like why you’re here, because I feel like you could own that boss more.

when you understand that. And to kind of couple this, but also what we were talking about earlier is we’re not, when we’re owning our vision and owning our path and really our purpose as well, we almost stop looking for external validation.

We just like step into the flow with where we’re supposed to be, I think with structure and definitely discipline as well, which is a whole other topic.

But we, it doesn’t mean that we don’t need it as humans. We all, it’s a part of a human need, that we need external validation, but we don’t, we’re not making all of our moves and we’re not seeking it.

We’re honoring the external validation, but it doesn’t drive us.

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

And I think that that is also part of being a boss . Absolutely. think it, there’s a huge part of it that comes from internal

ignition that you absolutely can’t get, you can’t feel that mode of being a hospice and being and having that confidence if you don’t have it come intrinsically from inside, like it has to come from inside because, I mean, yes, no one’s going to be like, oh, sorry, I won a Nobel Peace Prize and Oscar and you know, whatever in the same week, extra recognition is also really great.

However, it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t feel it internally. It doesn’t mean anything. has absolutely no purpose and a no, no kind of drive for you.

mean, it feels like nothing. It’s like if you get an award that you didn’t really earn, it doesn’t feel like anything because you didn’t put in the work, you didn’t earn it.

so it doesn’t come from an external recognition at all. has to come from an internal drive and an internal desire to be that because, otherwise, it’s just love or no.

Lynn Howard

of smoke and mirrors. Yeah, I feel like we can keep going on and on. I mean, but we’re at time.

So, I think one of my last notes would be like, energy doesn’t lie. you either feel it or you don’t and you your actions, the people around you, your choices, your mindset can either drive you or hold you back right hinder you.

And so, it’s this constant like auditing almost of where you’re at, where you want to go. Am I paying too much attention to the outside voices?

Am I a need of more external validation than what I probably should? Because if so, why, you know, the boundaries that this and that and everything.

we spoke about, it’s important to just do that self-check to move forward and honor who we are, what our purpose is, and where we’re going.

And this is not just in any type of business, it’s also in your life, I think. When our listener said this, I actually thought of my daughters, and moments when they were younger, and they were embodying that boss , they were killing it, and just and everything that they did.

And it’s because they embodied a lot of the things that we spoke about, even as a young kid. And so, yeah.

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

So we want to know, what is boss being to you? Do you feel like you are embodying that energy, or is it something you’re aspiring to, or is it something you’re not even interested in?

We want to know, we’re throwing a poll into this episode, so make sure you are what and in on how you feel about Boss , Boss Mode, Badass Boss Mode.

Pick your string of words.

Lynn Howard

Yeah, what words resonate with you, but absolutely. Let us know, share this with someone who you feel could use a little bit of encouragement on their journey of being a Boss .

And maybe they need a little bit of a nudge to say, you’re doing your thing, girl. We see you, we honor you, keep doing it because I think that that’s important because we have a lot of haters out there.

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

A lot.

Lynn Howard

not that they mean to you always, but we definitely have some haters. so keep owning you. You do you, do you.

Amanda Furgiuele (afconsultingteam21@gmail.com)

And as always, make sure you’re hitting that subscribe button so that you’re the first to know about things coming down from the pursuit of Badasserie.

Lynn Howard

Absolutely. And let us know if you want to hear a specific topic. He kind of got a earful of different topics from some of our listeners just recently, so we’ll be dropping a bunch, but let us know.

I guess until next time, get after it.