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I’m Lynn and I’m Amanda.
And I’m Amanda. Welcome to the pursuit of Badasserie, the podcast.
We are back again with another incredible guests. Laura. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me.
Absolutely. we have Laura Wallace or Laura Aura, who is an alignment coach for female entrepreneurs, guiding them to learn how to honor their energy and truly listen to what they want instead of what they’ve been.
And talk to they should. Laura is the CEO of Works and Co and Urban Branding Studio, the host of a top 10, top 10.
Oh, I upgraded you. I will accept that.
Manifesting for you.
I accept it.
The exact same podcast. Speaker, author and all around. She says visionary, but she’s badassery. She’s all around badass. She’ll be the first person to push you out of your comfort zone and the last hug you as you head to the next level of your life.
Welcome, Laura R.
Thank you. Thank you. This is going to be a good conversation.
I can feel it. I know I was super stoked waking up super early. This morning I’d be like, she’s our people.
She’s been good company. She said, tell us a little bit how you got into alignment coaching and all that you do.
All the bad. It’s funny. Because I did not set out in my career to be an alignment coach or a podcast host or a speaker.
I started my journey as a graphic designer 22-ish years ago, and I’ve failed to branding agency for the last 16 years.
But through working with people with branding, I found that I was really intrigued by the thoughts that they were having, the kind of side conversations that the owners and the CEOs and entrepreneurs were coming to me with.
And I was like, you know what? know I have these thoughts and feelings. I can’t possibly be the only one.
So what if we started to have these conversations? So I started interviewing people on something called the Green Couch Project, which was a whole super cool production.
And it was through that process that I really found like there is a whole different fire that burns in me when I’m talking to people when I’m talking
Teaching people when I’m listening to what’s going on in their head. And so that just slowly, but surely turned into more coaching.
It turned into then the Gutsi podcast, which I’ll accept wholeheartedly as a top 10. And that’s what has led me to really focusing on helping women get out of their own way to shift the crap that’s going on in their head that they’ve been taught that they should or societal standards or crap that’s happened in their life or along their journey.
And start doing things the way that they really feel like they want to, to embrace the things that they keep thinking and feeling, but maybe haven’t been able to for whatever reason.
So that’s what brings us here today.
I love that. I think it’s so important. think women can do literally anything and they absolutely limit themselves the most.
than anything else, all this craziness that goes on in our heads, it’s unbelievable how much we limit our .
Ourselves, Justin, our own thought process. Absolutely. I mean, I see it more often than not. Like, when it never, it never ceases to amaze me that when I look at a woman or we’re having a conversation, I’m like, what do you, what do you want?
It’s complete deer and headlights. It’s like, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about that. Or no one’s ever asked me that, right?
Like, there’s just all these roles and responsibilities and everything and everyone always comes first. And when you peel back the layers, and you’re like, wow, I haven’t really thought about, what do I actually want in any scenario?
And it’s something as simple as ordering lunch or dinner out at a restaurant. Like, oh, do I need to do the thing that everyone else is doing?
Or like, oh, because of the health thing or the diet or whatever? What do I actually want right now?
does my body need right now for me? And then give me yourself permission to do those things. Like, it’s such in the tiniest moments.
And we unintentionally give away who we actually are. And it adds up. And then the days go by. And the years go.
Go by and sometimes decades go by and we have no idea what we want.
It’s so true. I was literally just having my initial meeting with a new client high profile. Actually, and she’s done all this work to heal and.
This meeting is being recorded. Like this moment of like you could feel her like deflated because she was just wanting like she just doesn’t have that connection anymore and it’s interesting as you’re speaking like.
It’s really like over time we lose that true connection to our gut instinct to our women’s intuition which we’re born with.
Do what we think we’re supposed to do.
Yeah, absolutely. And it’s, I want anybody to listen. That’s listening to that’s feeling like, yeah, that’s totally me. I want you to know that it’s, it’s possible to shift through and out of that, right?
that can, that’s a really challenging feeling. I’ve been there more times than I care to count, but I have been.
And you can shift through that. You can start to honor yourself regardless of what situation you’re in, what life changes that you’re making, what decisions need to be made.
You can shoot, you can start to choose you today right now in this moment. It’s not too late. Now’s the time to do it.
Yeah. And I love that, I love that this is, this podcast is coming out right towards the end of the year when we’re all thinking New Year’s and, and Lynn and I are not using those solutions people.
And I can’t state more like how important it is to figure it out now and do it now. Like, what do you want?
What do you, and I, and I only think about because last year, right around New Year’s resolution time. I’m somebody asked me what I, like if I could have one thing for the new year, what would it be?
And I knew what my thing was for me. But then I’m like, oh, I should probably list something for my kid.
I should probably list something for like, blah, blah, or for charity. Or I put my own desire below it because I’m like, I think that the better answer here is one that’s more philanthropic, or that’s more maternal or whatever.
But it’s so important, no matter what time of year it is, regardless of news, resolutions, or any time of year is to do it now, like what do you want?
And then do it now, because now is the only time you have.
Absolutely. I’m with you. I’m not a New Year’s resolution kind of gal. If it works for you, then do that, right?
But I find more often than not that it puts the societal expectation on you. And then, you know, six weeks ago, I, and it drops off inevitably.
And then you go into this shame cycle. here I do it again. And I can’t uphold anything. And now another year has gone by and I feel bad about myself and it just, it’s not super productive, right?
So what I like to do is I like to set an intention, just something that I’d like to focus on, something I’m going to pull more into my life, something that I can just shine a little bit brighter up a light on.
So 2023, my intention was joy. How can I bring more joy into my life? How can I make decisions that draw more joyous moments?
Or opportunities into my life? And I find that that’s just a much more like, even want to kind of like sway in my chair, like it’s just a much more fluid, like feeling that you can implement into all the different things that you do.
It’s not such a hard, like abrasive. I have to lose 50 pounds or whatever it is that the commercials want to tell you, right?
it’s, it’s just a much softer approach that helps you call in again more of who you really are, the things that you actually want.
I couldn’t agree more and just to clarify for our audience, we are not New Year’s for resolution people, but we are definitely badass goal setters.
But we also have structure systems and accountability and all of that. And they are our goals. I love what you were saying there, Sad.
It’s really about like honoring what you truly want and need and like and having that. I mean, I know that Amanda and I go back and forth with the stuff, but because I’m more of the person, but the calling in and like the setting and tension and stuff, it’s something that I do.
I know Amanda does it as well. Now.
Do it in my own more scientific way.
Do it. Yeah. However, how, how coupled with that, like it’s really, really, it’s about checking in and seeing what you truly want and empowering yourself even more.
Because, and I know you say this across your website and different things that you talk about. We, and you mentioned it.
I know you talk about how we unintentionally or even subconsciously give away our power. I’d love for you to talk a little bit about that.
For our men that are listening, although Laura or her does this with women, definitely women we disconnect. men, if this is speaking true to you as well, listen up because you can set more into your power as well.
I don’t want to exclude you as well. where are people giving you? I’m giving away unintentionally or subconsciously their power.
Yeah, absolutely. And I love that you brought the guys up to because there’s a whole different set of standards put on to men, right?
don’t show feelings and be the tough guy and you always have to be the one in charge. And like, you’re a human being, regardless of gender or nonconforming, you’re a human being, whether you’re a business owner or you’re in a career power.
You’re a human being, so those thoughts, feelings, and expectations don’t go away just because of whatever role that you’re feeling in your world and in your life.
So I often say unintentionally giving out your power because most people don’t wake up every day and be like, you know what I’m going to do today?
I’m going to do what everyone else wants me to do. I’m going to discredit myself. I’m going to put myself on the back burner.
I’m going to burn myself out myself today. More often than not, people are not waking up with that as they’re conscious thought.
It’s this subconscious habit, belief system, people pleasing, holy moly. Let’s bring that one right to the forefront. We want to make sure everyone else is taken care of.
want to, we don’t want to disappoint anybody. We don’t want to let anybody down. So we unintentionally put ourselves on the back burner.
We get what’s left of ourselves. Right? In your Business unintentionally giving away your power might look like undercharging. It might look like packing your schedule, even though that you know, you know that you need white space in your day every day.
Right? It’s working up until midnight every night and then getting up and doing it all over again every single day.
Right? It’s in these little tiny decisions where we are putting ourselves last or just not thinking about ourselves. We want to make sure that everything and everyone else is taking care of first.
So unintentionally giving away your power looks like I don’t even know what I need because I haven’t sat long enough to think about it.
I haven’t really digested what my body needs. I haven’t thought about what my goals are. I haven’t really put two and two together to say, okay, to get to this goal.
I need to honor my time. need to increase my prices. I need to do this. And then holding yourself to that.
That’s one of the most challenging parts. Right? When no one else is looking. When there’s no more accountability system, it’s really hard to hold yourself accountable, but it’s not impossible.
So it’s just something to start thinking about of where may I be unintentionally giving away parts of myself, whether that’s through a decision, whether that’s through an action, whether that’s through commitments, and where can I start to reclaim a little bit of myself today?
I love that, Amanda. I know you have a question, but it’s like a muscle. You have to, once you start using it and flexing it, that empowered decision-making and putting yourself first and really looking at the alignment, it really is like a muscle.
And Amanda and I were just talking about this with our own business, right? Because we have our separate businesses, but we have our, obviously, the benefits we bring.
And how, you know, we’ve been in that flow. We are in that flow with other things, but things can drop off and how to reconnect back to that flow.
And I think it’s really important.
I think that one of the most important things that you can do is just pause before you make a decision.
Pause before you take action. Pause before you just keep plowing through and pause does not have to be this whole 30-minute routine.
Pause. Literally, sometimes it’s just a couple seconds to stop, to reconnect with yourself and ask yourself a very simple question.
What do I want or need right now? And then choose to take action from that space. And if you do that long enough enough times, like that muscle, it gets stronger.
And you have to think about it less because now it’s like you’re new normal, right? It’s a new thing.
So it’s really empowering and big changes happen with little tiny decisions.
It adds up over time.
Yeah, and I think it’s important to really note here that this is where people pleasing is going to be a hard one because when you step into that power that you have suppressed for probably your whole life, it’s going to ruffle feathers.
And there’s going to be someone who, well, for me anyway, the times that I have seen it personally, there’s going to be people who just assume that you are mean, that you are not a nice person, that you are bossy, that you, and sometimes those things are true.
I’m not saying that those things aren’t real sometimes. However, you can be empowered in your own self and not necessarily be mean.
They don’t have to come, they don’t have to go together, but I think a lot of society and just the way that we were raised and the way that we feel like we’re supposed to act.
When you start to realize your own power, you start to realize that everybody else doesn’t like that. And that’s hard for a lot of people.
And I think that another big misconception is the difference between people pleasing and helping others. Like there is an enormous difference.
A lot of times people think that it’s like black or white. Either I’m a people pleaser or I just help no one and I’m a self-adful.
hold on a second. let’s reel this back for a hot minute and look at people pleasing really comes from a place of trying to get validation for yourself.
Whereas helping others comes from a place of truly fulfilling other people. So, really thinking about the energy that goes behind, what is my intent with helping this person?
Am I trying to fill something with in myself? Am I doing this from a place where I need their validation?
I’m trying to check off my own boxes? Or have I actually filled my own tank? now I feel really good helping this person.
I don’t have any expect of anything in return. I feel energized by doing this. I feel good. It’s just such a different energy.
just because you’re not people pleasing anymore doesn’t mean that you’re not helping people. It means that you’ve taken care of yourself first and that gives you so much more capacity to be able to help people on just a much more like rich, beautiful way.
Well, I’ll also add to that. Of course, some of the people who know me well that are listening to me like, of course you said this.
also comes from the place of control. are you actually in the driver’s seat when your people pleasing and stuff, you’re kind of not because you’re allowing what you think that they need or sometimes what they’re saying that they need or want versus what you truly are connected to in a line to, right?
So you’re giving it away that power, in my opinion, and that control, like you’re not in the driver’s seat.
And so who is that really serving? It’s actually not serving. And so it’s really important for those that like, have a little bit more control in their lives.
It can be a little bit challenging, right? When you’re the one that’s used to being in control to like fully release that, right?
Like, I am truly here just to be of service. And I don’t need to tell you how to do it or what to do or call the shots.
And like, I am releasing that. What do you need me to do right now? Right? And that can be an uncomfortable space, but I think it’s actually way more fulfilling, right?
Because then you’re truly just helping that person in the way that they need it, not in the way that you think that they need it.
Yeah. Part of that platinum rule, treating people the way they want to be treated, not the way you think you want to be treated or you think they want to be treated.
It’s all outward and working on what they want, not what necessarily you think they want.
Well, I love that simple tool that you give them. In the moment, you, because I’m an optical person, Amanda’s a practical person, like giving our audience practical things.
So in that moment, you can turn around and ask, go to I want, or what do I need? Because sometimes your need needs to come before you want, and sometimes your want needs to come before your need.
And so how do you, what are some of the things that you work or teach your clients? I mean, obviously, we don’t want you to give away all your goods, but to give a couple of tips of like, how to navigate that?
Like, how do they stay grounded? How do they stay, like, how, how do they get clear on that voice?
Yeah, absolutely. I have a process, I’d be happy to share it if you’re open to that.
So it’s called a power back process. And it’s just a very simple thing that you can do in the moment.
When your brain wants to go 100 miles an hour, you start overthinking, you start bashing yourself, you feel out of control.
whoa, like, I’m trying to move forward. And my mind and my body are not cooperating, right? So the powerback process is an acronym, A-U-R-A, or it’s intended to help you get back into your own version of aligned energy.
I say your own version of aligned energy because mine looks very different from yours. Yours looks very different than your clients.
You know, like everyone has their own version. So one of the things I love about this is A, it’s you can do it anywhere.
You don’t need to go anywhere. You don’t need to buy anything. You can be standing in a crowd of 50 people and do this in your mind.
And B, it helps you reconnect back with you. It’s a framework, but it’s so individual that it’s for you.
So A is for awareness. We have got to notice our thoughts, our feelings, our habits, our actions. If we don’t notice it, we can’t change it.
Period. End of story. So by bringing awareness, it’s just noticing, okay, I’m starting to. Feel kind of anxious right now.
do I feel that in my body? Okay, I feel that in my chest. Okay, what are my thoughts right now?
Oh, I’m starting to beat myself up. I’m saying that old story. Like, I’m just noticing it, right? I’m bringing attention to it.
That allows us to go into you, which is to unpack it. Where did this come from? What’s going on?
It’s a way to diffuse what’s going on. So each one of these steps were like diffusing this bigness and coming back into ourselves.
So unpacking it is, did I read something that kind of triggered me? Is this an old thing that I always have done?
And now I’m trying to break it? Like, did somebody say something that a parent or a friend said to me that has triggered me now?
what’s going on with it? I like to look at unpacking kind of like listening to a child that’s feeling kind of distressed or upset.
Like, you know, getting down on their level, listening to them, holding a compassionate space. That’s such a really important part of this because it really starts to soften things.
Now we can go into R, which is to reframe it. This is where you get to reconnect with your higher self.
What is really true? What is possible with this? How can we reframe this situation? Am I really not worthy of charging this amount of money?
Or do what I do brings incredible value to my clients and changes their life? We’re getting back into the truth of things.
And then that allows us to take a line to action. Now we’re choosing consciously. We’ve gotten back into our conscious mind now, which we only think out of and act out of in a very, very tiny fraction of our day.
But now we’ve gotten back into ourselves and now we can take action from that space. And this process, again, sometimes it takes me 15 seconds to go through it, bigger things that takes me a little bit longer, right?
But regardless, it’s actively getting back into yourself. It’s that pause and that little turn of the dial that gets you a different outcome.
And by doing that enough times, You create a new, healthier habit. And eventually you don’t have to think about it nearly as much.
So this has been life changing, not just for me, but for the people that I work with. Because it’s just such a simple tool that helps you get back into yourself that your mind doesn’t take you down a windy road, you know, where you’re playing this professional game of whack-a-mole and you’re not sure what’s going on, right?
Like, it’s like, okay, I’m back in control. I’ve reclaimed myself. And I’m getting close. And supposed to do the thing that I actually want instead of repeating the thing that gets me the thing that I don’t.
So do not repeat the things that get you what you don’t want. That is a hard one to do.
Particularly, like you said, if you’re not aware, if you’re paying attention to your habits and how they affect everything that you do.
Because if you want to talk about people, always talk about And yes, consistency is great, but if you’re consistently doing the wrong things.
You’re consistently gonna get better at getting worse. That’s what you’re doing.
Yeah, absolutely. I often say online that the thing that you want the most is often behind the thing that you resist the most.
That’s usually a reaction that I get. It’s one of those seeds where like a week from now you’re gonna be like, Oh, my damnit, Laura.
Like, but it’s so true. And when you start to build awareness around that, holy blinking lights, Batman, like it, it really becomes very evident very quickly.
But as uncomfortable as that is, trying something new to get you to the thing that you actually want is a temporary discomfort.
Of course, there’s gonna be pushback, your body, your subconscious, your mind. It knows what to do because that’s what you’ve been doing.
anytime we go against that to get something new, there’s going to be resistance. There’s going to be pushback. There’s going to be doubt.
But continuing to And I think I do want to clarify here because sometimes guys, audience, you might be sitting in a comfortable spot, but you want to get to the next level.
So this also counts for you. Like, if you’re not actually going through that, moving through that, it doesn’t always have to be a discomfort or pain.
It could be like status quo and mediocracy. And I’m saying that not throwing shade. I’m saying that mediocracy for your level, right?
So some people like staying that comfort zone and they talk about wanting to move into the next level, but they’re not really like doing exactly what you said.
And what other things are I want to bring up here, Amanda and I are actually reading a book at the same time, reading Audible book at the same time.
And one thing that he says a lot is because there’s fear at that resistance too, right? And he says how he feels it, even though he’s uber successful, he just doesn’t give it time.
So he’s not giving that fear time. And I think a lot of times we give that resistance at fear time.
And then it becomes this like, mountain out of a molehill type of thing. And using the tools that you’re actually teaching gives us the ability.
And like you said, that conscious re empowering of oneself to actually like make that speed of implementation. We speak a lot about speed of implementation.
So that way you don’t sit in the fear, which creates more resistance.
Bop, bop, I want to your point. It’s about not staying there. It’s about consciously making the decision or taking the one next step.
I talk a lot about the one next step. What’s one tiny thing that we can do today? Because we often are looking for clarity, we’re looking for momentum, we’re looking for confidence.
How do we create that? Action. We’ve got to move. Because if we don’t move, we stay in it. We spin our wheels in it.
The mud flings everywhere. Everything gets nasty. at that point, you’re something like, You’re mind. It’s going to be like, great.
Glad you’re sitting here. I have a lot of things to tell you or a lot of things to remind you of.
So feel everything that you need to feel. But just don’t stay there. Choose to do one next thing that helps move you along.
And he actually talks about that too. About feeling it and moving past it. One thing that has, and Amanda, spoke about this a lot, but there’s some other famous people who talked about it.
When you start to numb or ignore, So if there were one other thing, one last thing that you could share with our audience, what would it be?
You know, I like to intuitively answer this question, just depending on what the space and the energy is calling.
tonight I think I just want to say that it’s okay to make a change. It’s okay to want something different.
It’s okay to want to pivot regardless of how much time, money, or effort you’ve put into something. If the spark is not there, if the alignment is not there, if the connection is not there, you don’t have to continue to force yourself to do something that doesn’t bring you joy anymore.
It’s okay to shift into something that feels good in your soul, right, that you wake up and you’re fucking-
I love that exactly.
Give yourself a reason to wake up and I always think the analogy of, you know, people who say that they’re They’re not morning people because they just can’t make themselves wake up.
I’m not saying be a morning person. I feel like I’m both night and day these days. if you had a trip, your dream vacation, you would wake up at three o’clock in the morning to do it and you would wake up excited even though it was beyond your recognition to whatever want to wake up that early.
If you’re excited to do it, you’re going to wake up and you’re going to do it. And that’s you’ve got to find something that you love that does give you that same feeling of excitement to do it.
And put the action in and to make those changes and to face the fear, do it anyway, all those things.
finding that thing, it exists. Just got to find it.
Absolutely. So how can people get ahold of you?
Yeah, so the best way to find all things me is at lauraora.com. It’s LAURA.com. I play a lot on TikTok and Facebook.
I put up all kinds of reels to help plant some nuggets. One, two,
We have incredible guests on the show because when I inevitably re-listen to it 15 times before it actually airs, I always get pumped up.
I get so much done in the hour after every podcast. So thanks. Thanks for letting my love.
And you, I’m an always.
And realign in us. And I love your, I love it when people come up with the little fancy acronyms or like that stuff because it’s just like now that will forever live because there were things that I would do.
But now I’m always going to think for. All right. Everything will be in the show notes. don’t forget to reach out and give Laura a holla.
Thank you again for being on our podcast till next time everybody.
Get after it.